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Sunday, April 13th, 2003
9:24 pm - update
well wed side project had a show i took kelly, map, jay, and a few other people were there sum noise band "the lazers" were on b4 sp ya was suckie

Friday:went to see house of 1000 corpses w/ tim and damian, map, ron, atf, dave lefit, susan, bunch of metal kids there movies was cool

sat hung out on thayer alllll day from 4-9 bascily talkd to maggie till cat came and stole her away from me. ended up at nicks house w/ diana, emanuel, amanda, and some other kids.

sun: pickd up moolissa hung out on thayer mark, justin, lever, diana, danny the usal people were there so i ended up droping off, justin and moolisa then was gonna drop kellys cd off but fuck that now im here and eh bored and ehhh the usal

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Monday, April 7th, 2003
12:43 am - weekend
friday: Absynthe, Proper Logic, Side Project, Ex-nihilo at cats
was a good show christian gotta hot new guitarist hehe her names kerri and marissa still plays bass
ya show was good proper logic insane as always Side Project only did like 4 songs but was still good ex-nihilo well there getting better
Sammy and tony from Overfiend showd up 2

Sat: Donnybrook, Soc, Sasqatch and the sickabillies, and mancain,
morgan, and steph were there tim showd up thats about it.
mancain was good sounded a lot like kittie vocaly tho mabye cuz it was a chick, sasqatch was good as always, soc was ok had a big crowd for them then it thind out for donnybrook

sun: went to thayer hung w/ megan, melissa, diana, danny thats about itt

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Thursday, April 3rd, 2003
12:59 am - update
so friday im going to side project, ex-nihilo, proper logic, and absynthe at Kc's Tap in pwt
sat: Donnybook at lupos? morgan?

things i need to do:
cut hair
get paid
thats about it haha
get laid to har

lata John

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Tuesday, April 1st, 2003
3:22 am - LOOK
hey well apparently there are/was 10 dollar lawn seats for the boston ozzfest shows please somone find out if there stil is sum left i went yesterday and the box office was closed dammit and i left here at 433 it closed at 5.
ill owe whoever finds out for me
other then that i have a job
more later

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Sunday, March 30th, 2003
3:10 am - so far
friday: um...... child on thayer? basicly hung out w/ diana, danny, other people saw neil and kiki, pickd up chet um thats about it. bad mood came home and came online

sat: did nothing all day basicly home alone bored so im about to leave i pull out and morgans getting dropd off infront of my house i guess shes friends w/ elissa anyway i gotta call her tomarrow at 1 ya so
then i went to thayer: Josh, tina, barron, danny, megan, diana, mark, kelley, harry, prw, etc were there i basicly hung out w/ margret and ravioli all nite um blink grl, some ep people? so it was raining all nite witch basicly describes my mood ya so i left there at 10ish and went over to kellys and no one was home: :( so i drove around from like 10-1120 basicly then went to castle jenna, kelly (she playd frank tonite) linda, josh, tina, and like everyone else was there, um ya nothing realy intresting my mood was up and down all nite map was there 2 um ya so ::burp:: i just wanted a hug from kelly thats it and i basicly dident wana let go when i gave her a hug by ::shrugs:: um ya now im here

so i gotta job i start monday at 9 "wild tree and herbs" and yes its legal herbs losers haha anyway im gonna go fuck around online lata
Love John van veen

current mood: rainy

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Sunday, March 23rd, 2003
3:33 am - sat
so i cleand all day and made it to thayer around 530,
so like lots of people were there megan, danny, cat, kelley, erica, birdie, molly, katarina, mark, ben, harry, pwr, lurch, chet, diana, etc um ya so chilld there i guess i just missd melissa and kelly:( anyway i stayed there till 830 then went to living room

damian, 1/2 head, lever and matt weedon were there thats about it i had some "orange juice" wesley willis fucking kickd ass hes funny shit

so ya then i took damian to south prov to get his bag at tonys house (what a shithole haha) then went to pwt to drop him off at ex-nihilo's house then shit started getting annoying on the way back home on 95 there was a car stopd right b4 the 195 split so he had his left blinker on and cut across 4 lanes of traffic very slowly almost causeing me to rearend him THEN not even 30 sec later im going around thurbers ave curbe and this car goes flying by me on the left and cuts infront of me going about 100 almost hits my bumper and proceeds to slid across 5 lanes of traffic and fishtail back and forth another 100+ feet then skid to a stop sideways on the highway. great almost died 2 times in 45 sec so now that its past 2 i cant stop at dairy mart to get coke for 80 cents so i stop at cinoco and go to get my free bag of chips w/ my cupon but they dont accept those fine ill just take the coke shes like 2.02 im like fuck that i can get liek 2 bottles for that much and still have money left over dumb bitch now im hungry thirsy and agrevated so i finally got home and now im here eating my mre drinking water.
tomarrow? prolly just scrounge up sum gas money and go sit on thayer and drink more "orange juice"ya im annoyed
lata
John

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Saturday, March 22nd, 2003
2:00 am - tonite
well im sick and tired of watching war on tv so i took off to thayer st. it was lightly raining no big deal, saw ben, ravioli, ryan, raverwill, um bends punk friends and i went and playd frisbee and rugby at brown for a lil then went back to thayer ran into diana, chet, and margrett i proceded to follow margret around for a while then she left around 11 and so did i i got pizza and came home.
it was more fun then watching tv haha
i got margrets sn finaly haha
anyone know if maggie has one?
er im sick and my jaw hurts and i keep sniffling and sneezing grr.
tomarrow nite: Wesley Willis at the Living Room, and mabye donnie darko w/ margret
luv john

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Thursday, March 20th, 2003
2:37 am - tonite
um i pickd up melissa wnet to thayer jon,drunk meg, and meghan were there. um ya cat showd up as me and melissa were leaving we went to vingie finaly got in cuz guy was on his way out chilld there sarah and map were there w/ atf and stuff um jamd a lil left brought melissa home then went ot hell chilld there lever, 1/2 head, peter were there um missy was there thats about all i know anyway im mad fuckd up lata
John
ps: need stuff to do this weekend thanks

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Wednesday, March 19th, 2003
2:54 pm - updated list
Missy
Cami
Nikki
Amber
Kelly
Sheri
Kat
Tiffany
Meghan
Bethany
Sally

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Sunday, February 16th, 2003
4:11 am - ::sigh::
so lets see thur i um dropd off kellys cd went to band practice then came home. saw sheri at work.
friday: valintines day haha w/e um ate dinner here went to emrlad square mall saw kendra, um basicly hung out w/ mb the whole nite um i saw sum chick i talk to online but didnet say anything then i came home.
today pickd up damian in riverside, diana came to then we went to marissa p's house um rory, and marissa T were there um ya we all went to uri waited around forever set everything up (i went to dp dough) ya no one was there christian playd ya so wel all left i dropd diana off in ep me and damian stopd on thayer then went to the band space atf was partying um daliah and sarah were there um that cute chick joe was there going at it w/ sum chick haha anyway mark was there too. um so i had to drop damian off in incestvill smithfield then i came home (i did stop by bickfords to see if kelly was there but i dident see her) ya im bored
who calld the cell around 1230? 231=1066
anyway tomarrow sideproject/overfiend at ralphs diner in worcester mass EVERYONE GO lol
ya rite
lata John

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Thursday, February 13th, 2003
2:34 am - update
Update-----
um last friday was Sideproject, Overfiend and Parker ave at the Station in ww
it was a good show the station is a nice place um ya, bunch of drunk people like: guy, pat, jeff anyway me and damian unloaded the shit partyd w/ atf anyway that was about it

um nothing new need job still need to sell add space for decibal (anyone wana buy sum msg me) ya
heres what my winamp playlist is looking like: Nin, Tori Amos, Evanescence, Tatu, Msi, Shadows Fall, Ateyu, Lighting bolt, Radiohead

so friday- going to mall
sat- uri
sun- side project and overfiend at ralphs in worcester

sunday the 28th Overfiend, Sideproject, Atf living room all must go

lata John van veen

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Sunday, February 2nd, 2003
9:31 pm - fri
sky cutting stars, misery signals, premonitions of war, between the buried and me, undying, the red chord

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Friday, January 31st, 2003
1:05 am
fri jan 30th The red chord, more... worcester
fri feb 7th Atf, more... Living room
fri feb 7th Side Project, overfiend, and more Station, west warwick
fri feb 7th Nile, Napalm death, dark tranquillity Worcester
sat feb 8th Ra, Carrion, reach 454; Lupos,
sat feb 8th Paraplegics, more... safari

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Tuesday, January 28th, 2003
3:43 am - well now
hung out w/ daliah and tim,damian,guy and sarah at practice anyway...

my friend kayla is gonna be on www.suicidegirls.com one of my fav alt porn sites:-p haha wich reminds me any cute girls out there wana let me take pics of them? hehe cheak out www.localbandpics.cjb.net for sum ive taken i need things other then moving band members to take pcis of. anyway later
Love john
ps:oh were the heck is alla its been a few months

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Sunday, January 26th, 2003
11:33 pm - weekend
friday- went to emrald square mall i saw: liz, tim, alica, sami (dident reconize me), kendra, kelly (mmm she lookd hot) um i herd keith and joey were there. um BJ, Kristy, mojo were there, devin was there. ya not bad nothing intresting happend realy. so then i wnet to lupos to see Ripwicket, Rubikon, C60, Carrion, and Donnybrook. well mike feeny, linds, damien and diana, christine, steph (her sis), kick me steph, um mark and his g/f showd up um that chick kat i talk to online was there. nate was there. thats about it not a big crowd i snapd a bunch of pics show was ok ripwicket had a big crowd ribikon and c60 were rrealy good carrion was ok and Donnybrook well nick from lamotta was druming and he dressd up like jeremy but they kickd matt the keybordist out so its not the same donnybrook. ya they rocked pretty well eps that last song. they coulda used a lot bigger crowd:( anywho i took steph home

sat: went to maps house um then daliah, and a bunch of her freinds showd up a cute red head named sara um a chick amanda whos sis has a pic of me and her skating at roller magic or sutming um sum kid dan and ray. anyway went to rocky saw kiki, jenna, kelly (mmm fuzzy hair) um marie, jamie, tina, josh, were there etc it was ok daliah sat on my lap:-p hehe so we left and went home

dident do anythign today:-p
lata John van veen
ps: alla! were are you!

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Sunday, January 19th, 2003
6:16 pm - opeth
ya so i got dressd ate threw up then got dressd again and left i pickd up erin and tim and we headed up 146 to worcester after stoping on 146 north to shut my hood. we made it to worcester and parkd and got in line (fucking 830 and there was a line doors were at 8) we saw christine. so ya this is how the palladium works u wait in line then they have 2 people patting you down then you go to the window give them money they open the cash register and give u the tix then you give yur tix to the guy standing 2 feet away he rips it and u go in. now lets just say this is realy a pain in the ass esp when its 2 out and your freezing would it kill them to just have the lady standing at the door w/ the tix take the money give the tix and let u in? like lupos anyway um when we got in there sum band w/ a chick lead singer was on they were eh ok. then me and erin chilld on the floor the 2nd band came on they werent as heavy as i thought theyd be then opeth came on at liek 11:07 and playd till 1237. um i saw ed sherman thats about it a couple cute chicks um a lot of ugly ones lol so we left.
drove back down 146 almost hit a deer wooo almost ran outta gas but i made it to mineral spring ave and got gas then i dropd erin off (kasy calld and i said hi) um then tim off and i went to castle to see rocky so i got there a lil after 2 saw josh and kelly (who playd frank) and jenna then rocky ended and i saw neil, pat, daliah, map, etc etc well i was gonna go to breakfast but no one told me it was at bicfords and not dennys so i wnet home and shit (not very happy and hungry) and talkd to daliah online then i calld her and talkd till liek 730 then went to bed.
thats about it
John van veen
This friday, Lupos: c60, carrion, ripwicket, rubikon, and mabye donnybrook its a benifit show for them tho

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Saturday, January 18th, 2003
3:05 pm - friday
well i went to get damien off mineral spring ave. he tryd shaving my head but we only got 1/2 done cuz the stupid clipers broke. anyway we went to the space, daliah and map were already there time and guy showd up and we packd up all the shit and sence no one knew were jarrods was i lead everyone there its in fucking attleboro NOT north attleboro fuckers anyway i got there no problem we went in brought all the shit down (i fucking hate clubs w/ stairs) set everything up sence they went on 1st so they went on ok set not that many people there, then sever went on good set, then pray for nothing went on good set, then Overfiend went on Good set, um we packd up the shit and left right as ill natured was done they were eh ok. um jay from atf was there, steph showd up thats about it then we went back to the practice space mark and his g/f were there um chilld there atf was partying. then me damien, daliah and map went to bickfords um ya then we left and i went home yeh im tired im going to opeth tonite w/ tim and mabye erin then stoping by rocky to see kelly mabye anyway lata
John van veen

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Sunday, January 12th, 2003
4:02 am - ok last 2 days
friday: went to mall, hung out w/ kelly, MB, kendra, cappy, liz, um BJ and Kristy were there, alicia, um sami (dident talk to) anyway then went to living room saw, Donnybrook, Pray for Nothing, Lamotta ya step tiffany damien were there

tonite- went to vingie building anyway ended up at the living room tormented opend anyway saw:mark, time, damien and guy of course kristy, sheri, christian, alica, dave levit, exiter ashley, birdie, molly, katarina, met dahlia and map. um ohh so many random people i knew. Afraid to Face was REALY good esp for there 1st show cheak these guys out. Side Project...getting better still need to work on things liek seting up quicly shorter sets etc. Guy did a good job on bass. um ya dident see exnihilo cuz i had to take damien to the vingie building to unload then back to living room caught last band clock? clap? anyway they were godsmackish sounding anyway ran around dropign people off got home and its 3 im outta here later
Love john

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Tuesday, January 7th, 2003
6:34 pm - me being EMO
Short Stories With Tragic Endings:

Here you stand seething with guilt.
Silence only justifies this act of cowardice.
The look stapled on your face cries out for forgiveness,
the one thing that I cannot give you.

(Did you ever see that one person
and the way they do these things
and it hurts so much it's like choking.. choking?)

I can give you freedom from your guilt,
with a flick of my wrist onto yours.
I can give you peace of mind with a forced smile.

I can give you death with the look upon my face.

This is your freedom in a life of fallacy,
with no last kiss & no regrets;
you don't deserve good bye.
This is your freedom in a life of fallacy,
with no last kiss & no good bye.

Here you stand seething with guilt.
Silence only justifies this act of cowardice.
With a short story, the one you add to daily, you are the tragic loss.
No story book ending for this fairy tale of you.
Just the one composed with blood taken from your pen that you hold in your lifeless hand.
Cry for you. Shed tears. Mourn. Wish the end.

(Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person,
and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much it's like choking down the embers of a great place.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
You let this one person come down on the most perfect moment.
And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is a reminder of what I'll never have..
I'll never have.. I'll never...
Standing so close knowing that i kills me to breathe you in..
standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in.
But this table for one has become bearable.
I now take comfort in this, and for this, I cherish you.
Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person
and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much it's like choking down the embers of a great palce.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
and to scream confessions at the insipidsky parting clouds.
And you let this one person come down.. come down. I cherish you.. I cherish you.
Just say that you would do the same for me..
just say you would do the same..
just say you would do the same for me.
For as much as I love Autumn,
I'm giving myself to Ashes.)

current mood: depressed

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Sunday, January 5th, 2003
2:59 am - 2 shows in 1 nite
well start off last nite:
watchd......triple X, goldmember, theres something about mary, spiderman, triple x again.
i tryd sushi it was ok a lil too sweet for me um ya
anyway got home around 10am went to sleep around 11am so i sleepd from 11-3 but like the phone woke me up liek 3 times (kiki, kiki, and MB) and my dads friend comming over woke me up so i dident get much sleep. ANYWAY
pickd up MB went to Newport for sum hardcore/punk show um Brian and Jon from ex-nihilo were there um Punk Rock Will was there. um thats about it. there was a few cute girls there 2. anyway um all i reamber was the last band envelope from mass? anyway tipical show. so i dropd her off at home stopd on thayer saw harry um got pizza then went to green room. saw um ?heather? the hc chick that used to live in warwick and has long bangs, tiffany, steph, rych, um ya drug war was on stage lead singer is river of Tree they were ok. Carrion went on there were ok also took like a few pics of them. then Donnybrook came on. once again they playd forever like a hour 15 min or so they playd everything the audience seemd to thin out a lot by 130 lol josh's g/f i guess beat up sum other chick anyway i took steph and tiffany home and here i am
yes yes we all know wat i want to say but i wont.....
Later John van veen

current mood: lonely

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